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Our imagination is bigger than we think!

Our imagination is bigger than we think!

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Recently, Jeff and I were privileged to be a part of my cousin’s daughter’s wedding. I say apart because, Jeff performed the wedding and I was the day of coordinator. Which is a fancy term, that basically means I told everyone what to do that day, but my family would probably say that was nothing new. 

 

There are two reasons why this was such a special occasion. The first is because it was kind of surreal going back home for this special occasion.  You see,thirty years ago, it would of been my mom and dad doing this, because that is just what their role was in the family. When anything came up that needed a preacher, my mom and dad were the ones the family called on. Because my parents were both ministers with the Assemblies of God for over 40 yrs. 

In fact it was 18 years ago my mom performed the wedding of my cousin and his wife, only because my daddy had already gone home to heaven. So to say we keep things like this in the family is sort of an understatement. It truly felt the mantel was passed on to Jeff and I, not only in ministry but by performing the wedding in the exact same church where my mom performed my cousin’s wedding, and now his daughter was getting married. 

Another neat thing about this special event is when we went back to this town I was born in (Iola Kansas) and where Jeff and I served in the church not once but twice, we not only got to see many friends from our church there. It was endearing as we drove around town remembering all the blessings God had brought us while we lived there.  

Now our life has never been without problems, so we were also reminded of the difficult times as well. But because we kept our focus on the good, the bad didn’t over shadow us, even going to the graveside of my parents was not a disappointment because I know where they are and it isn’t in that grave, but it is in heaven. 

One thing that was a surprise though was how much smaller things felt. As Jeff and I was driving to the park entrance, He even made the comment “I remember it being a lot further down this road” and when we entered the old church, where we had pastored, I made the comment “I remember these rooms being bigger”. 

Now had the street gotten any shorter or the room any smaller since the last time we were there? No, but our mind had made them much bigger than they really were. In the six years since our last visit to the town and the probably 20 plus years since we had been inside the church, nothing had changed about these places but in my mind they were so much bigger. 

Isn’t that what happens to all of us though, and I don’t mean just physical things but just about any idea we have in our mind can be blown up much bigger than what it actually is. For instance someone says something to you and you might not think anything about it right away, but if you sit and dwell on it, the longer you think about it the bigger the conversation can get and the more offense we can take. 

We often allow things to fester and grow in our minds much bigger than they actually are. Romans 12:2  reminds us “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Satan doesn’t want us to be happy and at peace, that is why he drops negative thoughts in our minds that we focus on. Because he wants us to focus on the bad in every situation.

Paul tells us in Philippians 4:8 …… Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about. (TLB) 

If we only dwell on the negative in our lives, we will end up magnifying everything we think about over and over again for an extended period of time and the truth is the situation or the issue often isn’t as big has our mind imagines it to be. 

I remember my dad telling the story of a church he pastored where there was so much offense between two families in the church that they refuse to speak to each other and sat on separate sides of the church. One day my dad brought the leaders of both sides of the family into his office and told them, “It is time this feud stops! Now tell me why you can’t get along? What happened between your two families that has made you so mad?” The two people thought for a moment and looked at my dad and said “We can’t remember” Here they had been mad at each other for 40yrs., refuse to have anything to do with each other, all while calling themselves Christians and they couldn’t remember what they were mad about? 

Satan had taken something that obviously wasn’t that big of a deal and magnify it into a family feud that lasted years and who knows how many countless people were turned off of the idea of knowing Christ because of these so called Christian’s actions. All because they had dwelled on something way to long and allowed Satan to make it much bigger than what the situation obviously really was. 

So what are you thinking about? What keeps you up at night? What has you so angry you are refusing to speak to someone? Whatever it is, try stepping back and focusing on Phil 4:8.  Because you aren’t doing it for the people you are upset with you are doing it for you, and because God asked you to, and God only asks us to do what He knows is best for us.

Green Acres

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There was a famous American Sitcom on television back in the late 1960’s and early 70’s called Green Acres. It was popular back when we had commercials on TV and theme songs to our favorite shows that you actually went around singing throughout the day. The theme song to this show  was actually written by Vic Mezzy and went like this. 

 

It starts out with you seeing New York lawyer Oliver Wendell Douglas who longs for a simpler way of life. Singing in his suit and tie………….

 

“Green acres is the place for me

Farm livin’ is the life for me

Land spreadin’ out so far and wide

Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside”

 

Then you see Eva Gabor, who plays, Lisa Douglas,his socialite wife, in her full-length gown trimmed in fur and wearing her ostentatious jewelry, standing on a baloney of a penthouse looking over New York City singing 

 

“New York is where I’d rather stay

I get allergic smelling hay

I just adore a penthouse view

Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue”

 

Then they go back and forth singing, 

 

…The chores

…The stores

…Fresh air

…Times Square

 

Finally you see Eddie Abert who plays Douglas singing “You are my wife”

And Eva sings, “Good bye, city life” Together they chime in “Green Acres we are there”. 

 

It is a hysterical comedy where Oliver,  buys a farm, sight unseen, and moves there to live off the land, much to the chagrin of his socialite wife, Lisa. The collision of small-town life and Lisa’s sophisticated ways  where she insists on continuing to wear her full-length gowns and gaudy jewelry, while working on the farm, provides much of the humor in the show.

 

It is also a theme song that Jeff and I have sung to each other many times since he moved me to Kansas kicking and screaming 30 yrs ago this October. You see we were living in Atlanta GA. at the time, and through a series or miraculous events, God brought us to Kansas. Now, mind you I came because God said, not because I wanted to. Similar to Lisa on Green Acres I like my stores, I like the business of the city and the action and opportunities that comes with it. 

Jeff on the other hand “Not so much” He likes the slow pace life of a small town. So for many years he and I jokingly sung this to each other because we knew that the truth is really neither of us chose to come to Kansas. God brought us here and ultimately wherever we go, and whatever we do, we are God’s and we follow His plan for our lives not our own. 

 

So traveling and living in as many different places that I have lived has taught me a lot about people and culture. I went to 9 schools in 12 yrs so to say my family moved a lot as a kid is an understatement.

 

When Jeff and I moved to Kansas from Atlanta, GA. There were 2.5 million people that lived in the city of Atlanta at the time, when we came to Kansas there wasn’t 2.5 million people that lived in the whole state, let alone the city we moved to. So to me it was definitely like moving from the city to the country.

 

One thing I have noticed in living in small and large cities is there is a different perspective of how people view each other from city to country. In the city people don’t care where you come from, for the most part or who your family is. In the country, when people ask who you are, the last thing they want to know is your name, what they are really asking is “Who do you belong to?” and “Do I know them?” or “Can you be trusted?”

 

In the country people’s form of entertainment seems to mostly come from being in other people’s business, (example – owning police scanners and listening to it as a form of entertainment, when you are not a member of law enforcement or emergency management) verses in the City where everyone has their own business to attend to because they have places to go and people to see. 

 

Another difference is in the city people don’t just show up at your house unannounced. People call before they come and it is usually, a scheduled time. Now mind you the differences I am talking about, don’t make one or the other right or wrong. It is just different cultures, different ways people live. It doesn’t make one better than the other, or one worst. It is simply my perception of what I have seen and experienced.  

 

But there is another perspective I have seen too, I have often heard from people that have lived all their lives in small towns, “There is no way I could live in a big city, I couldn’t stand all those people looking at me” Or “I couldn’t stand all of those people in my business” 

 

Which that perspective blows my mind because coming from a person who has lived in the city, I couldn’t find that farther from the truth. The truth is most people who live in the city could care less what their neighbors are doing. Unless you are bothering them,or need help, they will pretty much leave you alone. Because they have plenty of other things to keep them occupied they are not worried about being in their neighbors business. 

 

But you know another perspective that blows my mind is people who believe that everyone is judging them, when they walk out their doors. Whether it is with their clothes, weight, or whatever.  Satan is the author of isolation and if he can keep up all thinking everyone is judging each other, he can keep us isolating ourselves from each other. 

 

Satan is the author of lies. In John 8:44 It tells us “…..for he is a liar and the father of lies.” when referring to satan. 

 

I believe satan tells us that so we hold people at arm’s length and refuse to get close to people for fear they will find out who we really are and they will reject us. But the truth is, everybody feels like they are not good enough, that everyone else is probably doing a little better than they are, at least in some area of their life. Satan has woven that lie into so many people’s lives so much so it keeps us hidden away in our houses for fear of getting out and going to church or hanging with certain groups of people. 

 

The bible says in Matt 18:20  “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” No wonder satan doesn’t want us coming together with believers. He doesn’t want us knowing the power there is when followers of Christ come together and worship God. 

 

It also tells us,  “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14. Did you hear that? In the multitude of counselors there is safety. Now the bible is not talking about just hanging out in any crowd here. But a crowd of believers, who are further along in their walk with Christ than you. It is saying here, when we don’t know what to do, seek out those believers who are further in their walk with Christ and ask them for help. 

 

The truth is, satan doesn’t want us doing that because he knows we will find peace and understanding in that as well as be blessed and grow in our walk with Christ. So if satan can’t keep us all thinking we are all against each other, then he can keep us divided. He can keep us isolated and never grow in our faith. 

 

But you may be saying right now “Alesa why does that even matter, I am a good person I don’t need other people to get to heaven” and to that I would respond.”That is the biggest lie you could believe” You see good people are not going to get to heaven. It takes a relationship with Jesus Christ to get to heaven and He didn’t just come to earth to give His life for us so we would be good. Christ gave His life so you would be saved and you would then go and tell others about Him. He didn’t come to make your life better, He came so you would be better in this life and you can’t be better and do better if you don’t grow in your understanding of Him. 

 

As Christ followers we don’t just commit to living for God and then never learn anything else about Him. How can we live for Him if we don’t know who He is and how can we know who He is if we don’t learn from others who know more than we do? 

 

YouTube is one of the most popular sites on the internet, Why? Because for the most part it is people telling people how to do something. Even if it is stupid things like eating tide pods. Many people look to the stars and their horoscopes to find what they should do in this life, but why not go to the creator of the stars instead? God is asking you to come to Him and the church is the YouTube of God to get that message to you. It is the earthly form that God created and still the biggest tool He uses to make a difference in this world and help us get the understanding we need to know Him better. 

So what are you gonna do today? Will you allow the lies of satan to rule you? Will you allow those negative voices he is putting in your thought life to overtake you? How about you come out of the comfort zone of fear you are in, take the next step in your walk with Him and go to church, read your bible, begin to engage with others in a bible believing church who can help you grow in your understanding of Him and lets stop listening to the lies of satan and step into the green acres of a deeper relationship with Him. Alesa Lewis Miller is the Pastor’s wife of Lighthouse Worship Center, Greensburg Kansas, Mom, Mimi, Speaker, & Columnist. Find more of her stories at www.behindtheparsonagewalls.com

Trading Ashes for Beauty (the wedding story)

Trading Ashes for Beauty (the wedding story)

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This week our church has the pleasure of hosting our first free wedding. It is a new ministry the church is offering in an effort to show our commitment to family values and the institution of marriage. With so many people living together for years before they get married, and often having multiple children before they even consider having a wedding. Our church wants to change that. Those couples often say it is because weddings are so expensive, that they wait to get married. 

 

So Lighthouse Worship Center is out to make weddings a reality for those interested. We offer to reimburse the couple for their marriage license. We provide a venue for up to 50 guests,  cake, punch and mint reception, officiant and coordinator for the day, decorations, and a few other things to complete this wedding. The only thing the couple has to do is complete 10 weeks of pre-marital counseling. 

 

This weekend as I was putting the finishing decorative touches on the tables, the morning of the wedding. The father of the bride was watching me and made the statement “It is amazing how such a little thing can make such a huge difference” He was referring to the honeysuckle vines I had trimmed from my yard that morning and placed around the candles on the table. My response to his comment was “and to think this is really just trash to me” See these vines under any other circumstance would of been tossed in the trash, but I had specifically allowed these vines to become overgrown so I would have them for this very day. What should of been cut back weeks ago, I held off because I knew this day was coming. Bruce was right those little vines made a huge difference on the tables. 

 

That conversation got me thinking. I wonder what else may seem to be a small thing but makes a huge difference? I am willing to bet most of my neighbors and friends didn’t even realize that the bushes in my front yard were a little overgrown and what a huge impact they would have in another scenario, when cut out of my yard. No one really noticed except the designer of the wedding decor. She had a plan and it wasn’t just a, thrown together at the last minute plan, it was a plan she had been working on in her head for months. She had drawn out a design on paper of the best way to set up the tables and chairs in the room, She had measured the tables and the space to assure the right amount of people could be seated in the space. She had searched endlessly for just the right decor at the best prices for this event to come together. That is a lot like our Heavenly Father nothing comes as a shock to Him. He has a plan and He sees into the future, Shoot! He wrote the future! The bible tells us that He is working all things together for our good (Romans 8:28)

 

But I am gonna be truthful with you, I know sometimes in life, it doesn’t feel that way. Sometimes if feels like our world is crashing down around us. It feels like we are never gonna get out of that hole we are in. Sometimes we just feel like trash that has been thrown away. But the ending of that verse says “ to them that love God and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28) See the truth is, we all have a calling on our lives. We all have a reason to live because God has a plan for us. You may be wondering but “Who takes trash and turns it into beauty?” Well, I am here to tell you God does! Just like those vines that would of been thrown away under any other circumstance because they had grown wild and out of control. The designer of that wedding, saw a greater purpose and she used them for good. 

 

You may think there is no hope for you, you may think you have grown so wild and out of control that good will ever come out of you. Whether it is your lifestyle choices, your eating habits or just what comes out of your mouth. I am here to tell you if you will confess your love for God, He has a plan for you and just as Jeremiah 29:11 says that plan is  “for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” 

 

God is the great designer of our lives, and He takes what others deem to be trash and turns it into treasure everyday.  But, He is also a gentleman who will respect your right to choose to be left alone and if you say “Hey, God I got this!” He will step back and say “Okay it is all yours” and allow you to live the life you want without any interference from Him. The choice is always ours. 

 

Do you know someone today that may feel like they have been thrown away? Do you know someone who feels like their life is out of control and has just grown wild? If you do, you need to reassure them that if they will confess their love for God and decide to follow His plan, He is the one that turns trash into treasure. It doesn’t matter how other people see you, it only matters what God sees in you and the bible says He knew you before you were even born and He has a plan for you! (Jeremiah 5:1)

 

So whatever you are going through, whatever may seem to be out of control in your life. Trust that there is a great designer that has a plan for you, if you will only call on Him. He will be right there to help you. So, don’t be discouraged and don’t worry about what others say because the only one that matters is the one that created this universe and when He formed you He had a plan for you! Just trust in that plan today and give God a chance to trade your ashes for beauty (Isaiah 61) 

 

Dishes and Jesus

Dishes and Jesus

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If you have ever been to my home, you will immediately see my love for blue and white dishes. Some were gifts, many I inherited and a few I bought. If you follow me on Facebook you probably have also seen a table or two that I have set up for the purpose of entertaining people at my house for dinner. 

You see, I love entertaining. It is my love language to others. I love sitting out the dishes, days ahead of time, I will begin to prepare the table, ironing the table clothes (because I hate wrinkles on my tables) I plan for days ahead of time on what kind of theme my table centerpiece will be. I think about what dishes I want to use (and yes, I have more than one set). I carefully take out my goblet glasses and rewash them, I look over the silverware and assure there are no spots on it and when needed I will wipe it down to assure it is sparkling. As I do this I pray for my guests that are coming. 

Once the table is set, I will take pictures of it and post it on facebook, as I use facebook for my personal digital scrapbook. I also have several friends who live out of town, who also love to set tables so we enjoy sharing our photos to inspire each other. Capturing the moment also helps me remember what I have done in the past so I either don’t repeat it or can add onto it. 

It was in the middle of setting up one of my tables recently my daughter Amy said “ and this is why no one invites us over to eat mom” insinuating because they are intimidated by my table settings.  She thought she was being cute, by teasing me, but I know she enjoys setting a table up beautifully too. This wouldn’t bother me except for the fact that someone who my husband did not recognize stopped him in the grocery store shortly after my last dinner and told him “You can tell your wife I am never posting any pictures of my tables again” Jeff said she was joking and actually trying to compliment me because it looked so pretty as they both laughed about it. 

Many people don’t realize the reason I use my good dishes so often, when some will only take theirs out of their cabinets once or twice a year, I use mine at least that often a month. One of the reasons I use them so often is because I lived in the home where my mother was a hoarder and although she had everything she needed to entertain, I mean after all, I have all her dishes now. She never used them. I cannot remember once my mother every having guests over and getting out the good dishes. 

They sat uselessly in a cabinet year after year, or worse yet in some of our homes we lived in, she just left them in boxes we moved them into the house in and piled the boxes on the corner of the room. I determined in my heart as a kid growing up, I would never keep anything that I didn’t use so if I am going to have these dishes, I want to use them and what better way to do that, than to serve others. In this day and age where fast food or frozen meals are the norm in most homes,and the family table has almost become extinct. It is important to make our families and friends feel special and loved. No one should be intimidated by another person or by what they have,  because we are all valuable in God’s eyes and things don’t matter to Him because He looks on the heart. The real question is, where is our heart? Is our heart selfish and unwilling to take the time that it takes to do something for someone else?

I find eating off a china plate and drinking out of a goblet glass just makes things taste better, even if you did buy the food pre-made at the store. Taking the time to serve someone with pretty dishes just makes them feel special and that you care. It’s almost like when you were a little girl and had a tea party with your friends (or stuffed animals depending on the day) It was just fun! 

So what has happened to us? The bible tells us unless we become like little children we can never see the kingdom of heaven, now I don’t think God was talking about having tea parties, but I think He is talking about having that same joy and innocence, the same size faith as a child who sat around her little table and had a tea party with her plastic plates and stuffed animals. 

You know, there was someone else who sat around a table with His friends, it was Jesus. Many times He sat around a table just spending time with His friends and disciples, teaching them and sharing His heart. At the last supper He sat there as he was getting ready to leave this earth and with His twelve closest friends. 

No one knows for sure but it is believed that Nicodemus was the owner of the house where the Last Supper was held.  Here, Nicodemus served the creator of the universe and all they had was bread and wine, (okay maybe they had more we don’t really know)  if it was Nicodemus home they must of had some of the nicer things available at the time because Nicodemus was a fairly wealthy man and a leader in the community. But even if he hadn’t been wealthy, Nicodemus gave his best to the Lord. Nicodemus was a Pharisee and a member of the Sanhedrin which met he and Jesus were really on opposite sides, of the culture at that time.  

So one man had another man, who he would not of normally hung out with into his home and he blessed him by doing his best for him and it turned out that this one guy who Nicodemus blessed, was the Son of God the Savior of the universe.  

I mean in that day and age, that is better than having Superman over to your house or any of the Marvel characters.  

Hebrews 13:2 tells us “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing so some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” 

We never know what the person is going through that we sit across from sharing a meal. But everyone deserves to be shown kindness and friendship. Taking the time to sit down and just connect with them is priceless in the day and age where we are going 90 miles an hour.  

Jesus still desires to connect with us today. We can do that by sitting down and reading His words everyday in the bible and praying. We can also do that by sitting across the table from someone and sharing His love with others, because you never know, we just might be the only Jesus that person sees.  

Jesus never cared about what they had done in the past, in fact Jesus was known for hanging out and eating with the sinners. He never turned them away. His reputation got to be to the point those Pharisee called Him a drunkard because of who He hung out with.  

No where in the Bible do we see Jesus show people who are different than Him anything but love and hospitality. So how about we do that today. We make a pledge to ourselves and God that we will take this next step in being more like Him and love people they way He does.  

Lets bless someone today. It has been said that the greatest gift we can give someone it the gift of our time. So who are you going to bless today. Who will you invite to your home, or out for dinner, or maybe you will just sit around the grill this weekend. But whatever you do. Show Christ’s love just has He has shown it to us. Because after all “ While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” Romans 5:8.

Jesus and my Diet

Jesus and my Diet

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You know most days I feel ill-equipped to be a Pastor’s wife or in ministry of any kind. The world we live in today is far from anything I was raised in or my parents prepared me for. Satan would want to tell me that because I have not participated in many of the so called big sins that plagues this world we live in today, means I am unqualified to help rescue those who are in the middle of those situations.  

Satan would want me to believe that there is no way I can relate to those who aren’t like me, raised in the church all my life and being introduced to Christ at an early age. 

Satan would also want me to believe I could never succeed at certain things in my life. Like, when I dropped out of High School my senior year. It took me 10 yrs to go back and get my GED and lets not even talk about what he said to me, when I went on to college.  Satan tells me I am a bad mother, He tells me I will never amount to anything and you know what the most recent lie he told me was. “That I could never lose weight.” 

You see, It didn’t matter what I tried, it seemed to me I could not lose any weight. Oh! I would read the latest craze and try whatever it suggested. I was determined I was going to do it myself! Eat healthy, eat clean, only eat organic, no processed foods, only things made from scratch. No sugar, no gluten, no fat, low fat, etc.  It did not matter what I tried, I could never seem to lose the weight! He had me believing that there had to be something wrong with me. I mean obviously if I had done all these things on my own surely there had to be something wrong with me physically to have not lost weight with everything I had done. 

Until January of this year,  I stepped on the scales in this 30 plus year long journey, finding out that I had hit the all time highest weight of my life. At that point you could have poured poison down my throat that day I would not of cared. I was willing to do whatever it took to get the weight off me. But instead of picking up the bottle of poison, I called a friend who I had watched weight melt off her. She told me about a doctor recommended  program that she was on and I told her to sign me up! I did not care what it took, that day I was done! I was done with my aching back and knees, I was done with not sleeping well. I was done with my clothes not fitting, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and I hated what I saw in the mirror. 

So I decided to follow this step my step plan that was proven time and time again to work for others and you know what? It worked for me! This past week I hit my first goal of losing my first 50lbs. I am so excited I could dance! Well, actually I have done the happy dance around my house. I feel so much better, my blood work has improved. I am sleeping better, no more aching back or knees and I have more energy than I have ever had perhaps in my whole life! 

But you know what I have learned through this process, it’s a choice! I had to choose to change my old habits and embrace the new ones that would lead me to the goal I wanted to achieve. I also had to follow a plan that was time tested by experienced and knowledgeable people and you know what else I realized? I realized that wanting to lose weight is a lot like people who are not living for God and say they want to live a better life, they say they love God, but they have never totally surrendered their life to His time tested plan and because of that they continue to struggle and don’t understand why they are so miserable with themselves. 

See I had to choose to give up my will and my way and submit everything I had thought was right to follow this plan that was going to change my life, if I wanted to lose weight. Isn’t that what we have to do when we decide to live our life for Christ too? We can go around trying our own way, we can read the latest craze of the best psychologist self help book, in the country. But there is nothing that will beat the time tested, God given word called the bible. 

I knew I had to resist the temptation, if my life was going to change. I had gotten into the habit of seeing food and thinking, “I like it,I will eat it” My mindless habits were killing me! I had to resist the temptation to eat late at night. I had to choose to do things that weren’t comfortable to me because it was a new lifestyle I was choosing to live. In fact, one of those things was totally opposite of what you would think was the correct way to lose weight.  I had to start eating every 2-3hrs. This seemed ridiculous to me, after years of starving myself, to lose weight, because after all, you can’t eat to lose weight! But I did!  

You know that is a lot like our walk with Christ if we are really going to live for Him we have to resist the temptation to continue in the activities of our life that God is not pleased with. The stuff that is killing us, either spiritually or physically. When we make those changes they are not always comfortable because it is a new lifestyle we are choosing to live and often times we need to do the opposite of what we have done in the past. So it is uncomfortable at first to walk this new path. Because it doesn’t feel the same as living our old way.  

It’s uncomfortable, for some to accept that the creator of the universe, loves them with and everlasting love and gave His life for them even before they were born. (Jeremiah 31:3)

Satan wants us to believe something is wrong with us. That we will never be good enough, that we can’t ever change, that our lives will never be better. That no one could love us like that. He doesn’t want us to use the time proven plan in the bible because He knows it will change us and he is in a battle for our souls. It will not be until we get tired of the life we are living and we choose to make the change that change will happen. 

But for this process to happen, we often need someone to guide us. Show us the way. I know for several years I would ask my skinny friends what they were doing to lose weight, and they would give me vague answers, “Oh just eat clean”, “Cut out sugar”. Much like I have told many people “Just live for Christ”. Well because of this journey I am on, I now realize none of that advice makes any sense to the people asking it. We all need someone to come alongside us, take us by the hand and walk with us through this process, step by step. Because, to the fat person, eating clean is not going to change their life unless someone walks them through all the other parts of really changing your lifestyle to become healthy and to the sinner who has never known anything but living the way they are, they also need someone to walk with them through the process, step by step showing them exactly what it means to trust God and live for Him.

So maybe you’re reading this and thinking “Yeah!” I need someone to walk me through this life or, how many times have you just looked at someone and said “They should just live for God” and now realize they don’t have a clue of how to do that because no one has ever taught them. 

To the skinny person being skinny is what they know to do, and being a sinner is all many people know how to do too. Because we live in a world that doesn’t honor the Godly heritage that many of us grew up with. 

So how about today, we be that coach to someone, let’s take the hand of that one who wants to do better but just doesn’t know how. Let’s put an arm around someone and lead them, instead of pointing them in the direction they should go, like an employee at the big box store down the street, but let’s be like the professional customer service agent who when asked where something is, they walk you to it and assure you have everything you need before they go. 

I don’t know about you today, but that is my goal! I now understand how being lost feels and I am so glad someone showed me the way! I can’t wait to help someone who was like me! I have committed that I will be a different person after this because we all just need someone to take us by the hand and lead us to what we are looking for. 

Who’s Your Daddy???

Who’s Your Daddy???

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If I remember one thing about my daddy, it was that he never gave advice until he was asked. I on the other had have never had that quality. I just kind of spit out what I am thinking even before I am asked. Thus, the reason I have this blog page. I lost my daddy when I was just 23 yrs old. He died of congestive heart failure right in front of me, as Jeff gave him CPR. “Alesa come quick your daddy is dying” I heard for the other room as my mom called out.

 

As hard as it was to stand there and watch my daddy die, It was actually an answer to prayer. You see being a preacher’s kid and living in 5 different states in 18 yrs, and attending 9 different  schools in 12 yrs. My parents were not around when their parents were rushed to the hospital before they passed away. I can remember time after time, my family would get a phone call wherever we were living at the time “ Hurry come quick, we don’t know how much time Mom or Dad has” that call would come from one of my Aunts or Uncles, concerned with one of their parents and every time my family would rush around and drive as fast as we could praying all the way there that they would still be alive by the time we got there.

 

I don’t recall, when or even where I said it and I am sure it probably wasn’t an audible request, but I know I said it in my heart “God don’t let me have to live so far away from my parents that when their time comes to meet you, I have to get the call that says, Hurry come quick!”  

 

And so God granted me that request with both my parents I was there when they took their last breath. But He hasn’t always granted me every request I have asked for. You see as Jeff was doing CPR on my father I was calling 911, the ambulance came and the EMT’s worked on daddy to do everything they could to keep him alive, but he was pronounced dead at the hospital. I can remember, they allowed us time to go in and see him once after they had called it, and I can remember walking up to Daddy as his lifeless body laid on the table in the ER and in the same way I called out to God and said “Please don’t let me get that Hurry come quick, phone call”. I called out to God and said “I know you can raise him from the dead!, In the name of Jesus rise up be healed!”  

 

But that time, God didn’t answer my request. What makes God answer one request and not another?  Why does someone else get what they want and we can pray for the same thing and never get it? This is the questions that plagues many of us. It is the question that has been asked a million times and the only answer anyone can really say is “I don’t know” But I do know, that…….

 

God is the all knowing and all seeing God. He spoke the world into existence and if He can do that, then I think we should follow what He says because He has the right to do just about anything He wants

 

Romans Chapter 5 tells us that  ”because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us”

 

Now don’t misunderstand what the verse is saying here God is not sitting up there with a big sledge hammer waiting till you ask for something just so he can jerk it out of your hand, saying “No! Hahaha!” In a big hideous voice laughing at the authority He has over you because He wants to teach us a lesson.

 

No, the bible says that “While we were still sinners Christ died for us” it also tells us that “All things work together for good to those who love God,  according to the plan He has for us”

 

So I don’t know why my dad didn’t sit right up when I called on God to raise him from the dead. I mean I believed, I trust God’s word is true and it happened in the bible it can happen again. Does it mean, I didn’t believe enough, does it mean I didn’t have enough faith, NO! It means God had a better plan. The same way my grandchildren come to my home today and want to eat all the candy, Ice cream, cake and pop I will feed them. But, I know that it is not the best for them, because they will wake up with a stomach ache or throwing up, so I have to be the mean Mimi and say “No!”. Now do you really think I am being mean by telling my grandchild she can’t have her 4th piece of cake or 12th can of pop?  No, you would say I had already indulged them enough, you would say I know best because those things aren’t good for them. It is the same with God, He knows best He can see the future and wants what is best for us.  

 

So why can’t we trust the creator of the universe, the man who predicted His death burial and resurrection with what we ask Him? We can, we just have to realize that, when things don’t happen the way we plan, we know it is just a testing of our faith. We may have a plan for our lives, but God has a bigger plan and so when it feels like we are suffering because we didn’t get what we wanted.  We need to realize if we will just trust God and persevere our perseverance will produce character and out of our character we will gain hope in God and God won’t put us to shame, but He will turn what looked like something going wrong, to something better than we could of ever dreamed of,  if we will not lose hope and only persevere.

 

You know that is the kind of character that our Heavenly Father is looking for in His people. He is looking for a person that will trust Him. Because a friend trusts. We need to see this character in men today because we are living in a generation where many kids don’t have a father, and often a mother they can rely on.

 

It use to be when I would tell people about Jesus I could relate it to a loving father or mother, or even grandparent that had taken care of that child but today with the destruction of the family I am not sure there is a general example that we can compare Christ too,  and you know what? Maybe that is why people don’t trust God like we need to, its because we don’t have that example in front of us anymore.

 

So I don’t know what kind of family you come from, but on this Father’s Day Weekend. It doesn’t matter if your dad was around or not, it doesn’t matter if you have never met your dad, and it doesn’t matter if your daddy is in heaven like mine is. Because we have a Heavenly Father that said He would be the Father to the Fatherless. So trust in Him this week. Even if He has to tell you no. Just remember, He knows best and He loves you enough to keep you from harm even when we don’t understand. 

 

Divine Command

Divine Command

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“Deut 6:4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.”

 

This scripture give us as parents a divine command to teach our children in the way they should live. In a world where parents are more concerned with being their kids friends and often spend more time at work or away from our kids. We are failing at this whole parenting thing.

 

This past weekend was Mother’s Day and my children held their traditional Mother’s Day card competition. Where they try to pick the most sentimental card that will make me cry. They find great pleasure in being the first one to make me cry. My oldest gave me a card that as I pulled it out of the envelope and began to read the first line, I totally choked and couldn’t get the words out loud. It said “I know times have been hard…” As I read the that line my mind flashed to all the hard times we have had in our life that he has lived through, many we tried to hide from him or we prayed he was just too little to remember. Our Homelessness, Joblessness, Lost of Loved Ones, Mean church Members. Through each one I pray our son has seen God’s love through us in all our mess.

 

Satan has one purpose and that is to destroy this nation, and if he can destroy the family he can destroy the church if can destroy the church, then he can destroy this nation.

 

I heard someone say this past week  “Christianity is just one generation from extinction”.  The question we have to ask ourselves is, “Will we be that generation?” Will we be the generation that fails to teach our children what God has done for us? Will it be on our watch,  that the next generation will lose the understanding and knowledge of God’s love?

 

As parents we have to realize we have a real responsibility greater than clothing and feeding our children, but it is our responsibility to bring them to the understanding of the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. If we fail to live that life everyday, if we fail to take them to church so they will know we weren’t made to do life, by ourselves. We are failing them.

 

We need to talk about God’s love, when we drive down the road in our car, we need to talk about the goodness of God at the mealtime with our kids, We need to not be scared to let are kids know, we are going through a tough time, and at the same time, show/tell them how much we are trusting in God to get us through. Then when he comes through, we need to rejoice in that as well with them.

 

The problem is we aren’t spending a lot of time with our kids, we have bought the lie that says, Quality is more important than Quantity. We must be intentional about spending time with our kids and living a life that is pleasing before God. So what if you have made mistakes don’t be afraid to tell them you did and don’t buy into the lie that says “ I can’t tell my kid they can’t do (fill in the blank) because I did it when I was their age and you know what, that is probably why you are partly missed up today. So you are the perfect one to tell you kids not to do that, especially if you have experience with it.

 

God may of had you walk that path because to protect your kid from walking through it but if you are too concerned with being a hypocrite instead of being concern your kid could die and go to hell.

 

With graduation weekend, many parents are taking a deep breath and thinking “Okay, we got them raised, Now we can move on with our lives.” But are we worried whether or not our kids are going to heaven or hell?


The bottom line is we have our priorities messed up, we are more concerned with our kids being on the track team or the volleyball team. Than in Sunday School on Sundays. Our kids can’t hide God’s word in their heart, if they aren’t being taught it. Psalms 119:11 says “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”

 

Let’s make this summer a time when we prioritizes our children and their relationship with God. Maybe as a parent or grandparent we need to re-prioritize our relationship with God ourselves so we can lead the children God has placed in our lives according with what His word says.

Unashamed

Unashamed

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There is this girl I know, she was conceived in unfortunate circumstances, raised by preachers, who did not tell her she was adopted till he was 16 years old, engaged to be married and as her father was about to go into open heart surgery. She was sexually abused not only by a young man who called himself a christian, but right inside the church walls. She was bullied and made fun of by her peers, people who didn’t even know her believed she would never turn out to be any good. Adopted at birth,  She herself suffered from infertility, for 10 years. Struggling with body issues she was bulimic for a time, just to try to conform to what she thought the world expected from her, and to fit into a family that would never love her.

It seemed every time this girl would get ahead in life, something would knock her back down. People in the churches she was raised in rarely acted like the God that she knew. Her dad, kicked out of 2 churches, himself, should of made her hate God, she herself was fired from three jobs in her life,  and each time her father was asked to leave, it was as she herself had been rejected again. How could people that call themselves Christians act like this? She not only faced emotional bankruptcy but financial as well. She lived in 5 different states, and attended 9 schools in twelve years, living in countless houses but never really having a home.

Just looking for someone that would find value in her, she searched everywhere,  including an emotional affair. She lost the only father she ever knew and loved, when she was only 23 yrs old, and became the full-time caregiver for the next 33 years to her handicapped mother. While, homeschooling all 3 of her children one being severely dyslexic she felt again she had failed and blamed herself for her child’s challenges. Early in her marriage she and her husband with one child to care for, found themselves homeless, her family has rejected her, her church has rejected her, and her own mother has even rejected her, she felt all alone.

 Exhausted and tired from all the circumstances of her life, it is no wonder that she locked herself in her house for a season and refused to leave or answer the phone for fear of what the world was going to do to her next.

She had seen a lifetime of hurt and pain that no one should see their whole life, let alone before the age of 30,  and once this girl finally got brave enough to leave the house again, she did so, but not without putting up some walls in her life to guard her from ever being hurt again. Especially around people that called themselves Christians, because all this girl had ever known was to be hurt by these so called people who loved God. This girl finally put on such a hard exterior that no one could get through, and it’s no wonder she decided that she didn’t care if the whole world would die and go to hell.

Her plan was to just follow Christ like a racehorse with blinders on, laser focus to the finish line, because suicide wasn’t an option for her but a natural death or the rapture would be her only escape. Because,  after all, God was the only one who had never left her. With her hard exterior and protective layer she soon went in straight survival mode, guarding what she said, and preferring to be alone. She was hesitant about anything she would say around others,  because all to often in this Christian world, like a puppy that would just barely stick its head, out of its cage, she had all to often been slapped back in before she barely got her nose out the door.

She felt whipped, beaten and alone. She felt unsure of who she was and what she could ever do. There was a battle raging within her of what she knew she could do, and what she felt like would be accepted by those around her in her life. Her mind tossed and turned contemplating, what she wanted to do, and what she knew she had been called to do. So all to often it was just easier to step back and do nothing. That is when again, she drew up into a shell, and just really wanted the world to pass her by.

Until one day the Lord begin to show her in her own prayer time that He had great plans for her, that her circumstances were not a punishment, but a badge of honor to wear. Not proud because of her mistakes, but a victory that she kept going and did not quit,  that she was a fighter and a winner. So slowly but surely this girl would attempt to stick her head outside the cage one more time, maybe it was just saying “Hi” to a person, maybe it was just inviting someone over. But just as quick at she stuck her nose outside that cage, she would pull it back in, for fear it would get swatted again like it had so many times before.  

Over and over again she tried each time sticking that wet, scared nose out of the cage, a little bit further each time, with the success from the last. With each attempt to let the world back in,  she would stay a little longer outside the cage, looking around a little more, till finally one day she was totally revealed to the rest of the world. She had come completely out of her cage.

All the while, her mind battling against what she wanted to do, which was crawl back in her cage and let the whole world die and go to hell, and at the same time realizing that God had bigger plans for her,  and those plans would mean stepping out of the comfort zone of that cage and allow the world back into her life. That process took well over 40 yrs and she still is working through it.

But that girl doesn’t hide in her cage anymore, afraid to stick her nose out for fear it would get smacked because she isn’t good enough. That girl, now looks back on her past, not with shame,  but with gratefulness of what the Lord has brought her through, that girl realizes that she is a child of God, and no matter what man may do around here, or think of her, it doesn’t matter, because God is her ultimate authority and He calls her His child.

Oh! Does she still battle with the fact life would be easier, if she just stayed hid in her house and let the rest of the world die and go to hell. Sure she does! But she also realizes that the very reason she was created, and the reason she had to walk through what she did, was because she needed to know there was a God that could bring her out  and there are many that she needs to tell of this goodness of God.

So when you hear  this girl talk about how shy she really is, when you hear her say she really prefers to be alone, believe her. Don’t be shocked when you see her laughing in a crowd or sharing with a group of people. Remember at those times, what the Lord has brought her from. Understand that the girl you see today has not always had this freedom. You need to know that there is still a battle that rages within her.

But also know that she has drawn a line in the sand and she as decided that she refuses to allow her feelings to abort what God has called her to do.  And I know all this, because that girl is me!

Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! Romans 7:25, But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5 NIV

The Butterfly Effect

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This past week was Easter Sunday, not only is it the day we remember the resurrection of our Savior but, it is the day that my life was changed. Oh! Not directly but indirectly. You see probably 70 plus years ago a young couple ready to throw their marriage away decided to give it one more chance and go to church before they filed for divorce. They said “If this doesn’t work we are throwing in the towel and this marriage is over”. That Sunday the man walked down that aisle at the end of the service and so did his young wife, neither one realizing the other had done so because,  if my memory serves me correctly of the story I heard, It is because they refused to sit together that Sunday.

But when they got up from that altar, they looked  at each other and knew their lives would be different because they had given their lives to Christ. 70 plus years later, we can all look back and see,  not only their lives were changed, but God used those two broken individuals to impact the lives of many people over the 40 years the couple were in ministry. That couple was the people I called mom and dad. The two took a baby into their life unexpectedly when my birth mother couldn’t raise me. They taught me that Jesus loved me from birth. All I have ever known is the love of God,  because one couple decided to give God a chance in their marriage. That small decision had a generational impact not only on me, but my children and now my grandchildren. Had they not made that decision I am confident I would not be who I am today. Nor would my children know about a loving God and my grandchildren would not know that there is a Jesus that loves them.

I wonder, what one small choice would you make that would make a generational difference on your family? Is there a choice you have already made that has changed your world? Maybe you don’t think,you are that important,  or nothing you would ever do make that big of a difference.

I have to tell you, you are wrong, in fact there was a study done called the butterfly effect. The butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions in which a small change in one state of a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state.

Just like my parents giving their heart to Jesus and surrendering their life to Him, had an eternal difference in my life, so does it have an effect on my kids and grand-kids, as well as every person’s life.  Just like me writing this article, to every person my kids and grand-kids lives touch, their choice, affected a larger change many years down the road. Not only did their giving their lives to Christ make a difference in their lives, but they went on to help others. Everything we do,. Every choice we make, every decision made  has a cause and effect.

Recently, I was re-reading the letters of condolences that was sent to our family when my mother passed away,  almost 7 yrs ago now, and when I read this one , it reminded me of this fact

Many years ago, on the Bowlus Center stage, a little lady limped onto the stage, sat on a stool and sang “When He Was on the Cross, I was on His Mind”. That song personalized His death and sacrifice for ME. That lady was Doris and I will never forget her even though I never met her.”  

See,  I don’t know this person who was so kind to write this on the website condolence page of the funeral home where my mother’s services were, but even at 70 something years of age, as my mother who could barely walk with a cane at the time,  decided to sing a christian song at a community talent show. Many would of written the old lady with a cane off, but all those years ago, she submitted her life to Christ and decided she would serve Him and tell others about Him till her dying day.  She stood before a community of people from all different walks of life and beliefs and again, made a difference.

As you go about your life this week, how about you think about what choices you are making and where they are leading those closest to you. Let me encourage you, if you don’t attend church weekly, start by making that difference in your life. Find a bible believing church and make sure you are there and take your family with you. Begin to make it a habit every week, where you can learn more about God and tell others what He has done for you. It doesn’t matter what you have done in the past, what matters is what you do from here on out.

You have a chance to make “ the sensitive dependence on initial conditions in which a small change in one state of a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state.” You can create a butterfly effect in your life. The truth is you are everyday anyway. Why not make it a positive one. See because, the sensitive dependence is only good conditions, it is bad too. If you choose to abuse alcohol or drugs your kids and friends see that and it has a negative affect sometimes for generations. If you choose to gossip or treat others unkindly, you are teaching your family how to to treat others.

So if you are going to create a butterfly effect in your life anyway, Why not do it right. Show up Sunday at a church somewhere and give your life to Christ decide you will live for Him, no matter what,  or go ahead right where you are now and tell Christ you want Him to come into your life, and forgive you of your sins, just like you would talk to me you can talk to God right now.

This can be the beginning of a generational effect for all those who come after you or you are around. Now get into church Sunday and begin to make a life that will forever be a blessing to others, like my parents,  we can make a difference and the bonus is, You’ll go to heaven too!

Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves

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I have a pet peeve! I am not gonna lie, I have had it for a long time,  and I would be willing to bet, it is one of God’s pet peeves too, although I know He handles it with greater grace than I do.

When my children were younger, I like to think, I was like any mother, who would ask my children to do some things around the house, like clean their room, put their laundry away, general tasks  most moms would assign to their children. But I am sure, my children aren’t the only ones in the world to ever responded “Ok! I will be there in a minute”, to which I would respond, “If I wanted you to do it in a minute, I would ask you in a minute, but I want you to do it now!”

This frustration also coincides with people who promise to do something and then don’t follow through with their commitment as well. I think people should be a person of their word and I strive in my life everyday to do the same.

So, I can’t help but think God might have the same pet peeves as I do. I mean we can look at the bible and find Him getting a little frustrated with children of Israel, so much so that even after they had begged God for years to rescue them from their evil Egyptian tasks masters, when He finally did, they doubted Him and went against what He told them to do, and because of that, all but 2 of them ended up not getting to enter into the promised land. (You can read more about this in  the book of Exodus in the bible)

Then lets not forget Jonah,  who was told to go to the city of Nineveh and because he didn’t want to, he ended up being swallowed by a whale. (You can read all about him in the book of Jonah in the bible)

I promise, I would never let my kids get swallowed by a whale! But nevertheless I get frustrated. It has been said that delayed obedience is still disobedience.

So what has God told you to do? You may say “ Oh! He has never talked to me” But the truth is He has, we may have not heard His audible voice but He left His word for us called the bible. He gives men and woman, called Pastors, words to speak to us, every week, and we can hear it when we go to church. One of those things He told us to do in His word says, we need to go to, church (Heb 10:25)

Now when we go back on our promise to God, when we haphazardly live our life claiming we love God, but not following what His word says to do , It makes me wonder if God isn’t a little sad with our actions. If we aren’t being a little like those in the bible,  and I wonder what is yet to be.

See, we hear a lot about God’s love these days and some of us have come to believe, that love will just overlook the times we have chosen to ignore what we have known, and what we should be doing. But I don’t believe that. We are all allowed to make the choices we want, but we are not free from the consequences of those choices. Those consequences are not because God doesn’t love us, but it is because He does love us and wants us to choose what is best for us, but we often times believe we know best and decide we will do what we want to do.

I heard someone say recently “How can a book written over 3000 years ago relate to my life today”. Well, the bible can because the Creator of the Universe is the one who ordained the writing of that book and the one who inspired every word of it and the bottom line is, the Creator always gets to tell His creation what to do.