Have you ever felt like you wanted to just quit, and holler re-do, or just hit the reverse button on this life altogether?

I have!  It has been one of those days…… no weeks… months……. OK! really a couple of years.

Between finding out our youngest has some learning disabilities, a job loss ( still unemployed after 2yrs), being responsible for the care of my handicapped elderly mother, and now finding out that a 14yr  hope, dream and vision that we know God wants us to do,  appears to be on hold once again!  I have come to my wits end.

I am wondering; what’s the next step and where do we go? What do we do? What did we do wrong? My head is spinning with questions of uncertainty. What curriculum to use for my child now? Have I already screwed him up? How are we going to pay for the special curriculum? Am I really this bad of a parent? Will the next phone call I get be that my mother is gone?  What have I done so wrong that God has allowed me to go through this? The questions are endless and so are the accusations the devil flies at me.

I feel my family has been on a long journey, a wandering in the wilderness per say for the last 11yrs. All I want is a “normal” life.

So I go to the Word.  I open the bible to Joshua 5. Here are the children of Israel,  those promised the Promised Land.  They have wandered in the wilderness for 40yrs on the hope and dream of a promise their parents had only talked about.  All this generation knows is God’s provision, simply that God covers them with a cloud by day to keep them cool in the desert and provides a fire by night to keep them warm. Manna falls from the sky to feed them. All these people have known is God’s provision and that they have been promised a land flowing with milk and honey.

Think about it, all these people (about 2.5 million) and all but Caleb and Joshua, have now only eaten manna all their lives, they have known nothing but God’s provision for every part of their life. Every part of their day and night for the last 40 yrs, literally all their lives, has been about getting to the Promised Land. Now they have just crossed the Jordan River (on dry land, another provision of God) they can see the Promised Land and God tells them to make a camp,  celebrate the passover and get circumcised. They can see what God has promised them and the scripture says……

Joshua 5:12 And the manna ceased on the morrow after they had eaten of the old corn of the land; neither had the children of Israel manna any more; but they did eat of the fruit of the land of Canaan that year.

THAT YEAR!!!! Really ???? Is it saying they waited a year???  A YEAR???? Seriously??? Here they are they can see what God has promised them and they have to sit there and look at it for a year. Not to mention the fact all their men have just been circumcised, makes them kind of a vulnerable spot to be in. I mean really I am sure not too many of them are going to feel like going out to war anytime soon.  Let alone how embarrassing this might have been to them.

I wonder, how many of us feel embarrassed about something in our past. Maybe it is something that you feel like you have failed at. Is it the feelings of  inadequacy  when teaching your children?  Is it a stupid mistake you made in your past? Maybe you handled a family situation badly, or you had a business deal gone wrong?

If you go back up and read Joshua 5:9 it says….

Joshua 5:9 And the LORD said unto Joshua, This day have I rolled away the reproach of Egypt from off you…..

Some of the definitions for Reproach are:

1. to find fault with (a person, group, etc.); blame;

2. blame or censure conveyed in disapproval

3. disgrace, discredit, or blame incurred: to bring reproach on one’s family.

4. a cause or occasion of disgrace or discredit.

Maybe you have been made to feel ashamed by other people or your family because you homeschool. Maybe you blame yourself because you have a special needs child. Maybe you’re disgraced because what you dream of as a perfect life has not come to pass. Perhaps you blame yourself for some accident  you had no control over.

God says that He has removed the reproach from you. Before any of us can enter into our Promised Land we have to accept that forgiveness. Forget the shame that has been placed on us for whatever reason.  We have to realize that the best for us is just ahead. We are not washed up and our life is not over, we have a new beginning in front of us, if we will only accept it.

We can stand up and hold our heads high, we are children of God and the truth is that we are valuable to Him, we are His children. If you had a precious diamond ring that was perhaps passed down to you from your family and it had been valued as a priceless gem, would that gift be any less valuable if you got it a little dirty? Perhaps you dropped it in a mud puddle and you had to pick it up and clean it off… is it still a valuable precious gift to you? Of course it is! The same  with us; we are God’s precious gift  and maybe we have fallen in a mud puddle, maybe we have even been rolled over or stepped on, but we are still a priceless treasure to God. In the end when we stand before Him, do we want man’s approval or His?

Maybe you have been waiting on that “Promised Land”, whatever it is for you in your life, and it seems like once again you’re on hold.

The reassuring part to this story for me is threefold. 1.  God provides. The whole time, in the wilderness God provides. So no matter what we’re going through, whatever wilderness we may feel like we are in, God will provide. 2. They do make it to the promised land. God does not leave them hanging, but He sees them through. 3. We have nothing to be ashamed of.. The past is the past,  Gods word says, forgetting those things behind me I press on…I reach forth… Basically, we keep going! God is about to bring you to a higher ground!

Whether you are in the middle of what feels like a 40yr wilderness journey , or you maybe so close, can see what God has promised you and yet you have to sit outside and wait before you can reach it. Know this …. That today, whatever your wilderness, whatever your Promised Land whatever your battle… God will provide, He will see you through to the other side and you WILL come out victorious! You are a priceless, valuable treasure to God and He loves you.

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galatians 6:9


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