Ghosting… To be Ghostlike or Jesuslike that is the question?

Ghosting… To be Ghostlike or Jesuslike that is the question?

There is a relatively new term going around called “Ghosting”.  I was listening to the radio the other day and there was an announcer, taking a poll asking “Have you ever ghosted someone? “ So I looked up what this word met because obviously from the way it was being used it was not what I thought of when I hear the term “Ghost”.  One definition given said it is

1.) The act of disappearing on your friends without notice.

2.) Cancelling plans with little or no notice.

Another said…..

“The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject’s maturity and communication skills. Many attempts to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it, in fact, proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.”

One of the most popular answers on this show was, many people canceled plans at the last-minute without thinking anything about it. The commentator talked about how people commit to an event or a time to go somewhere with someone, then at the last-minute if a better offer comes up they don’t think anything about canceling the original plans and going with the new offer if it is something they would rather do than the original commitment.  

I was a little taken back by this newly found verbiage I mean, I remember when a person’s word met something and when you made a commitment you stuck with that commitment whether you had a better offer come up later or not. You weren’t just moved by the wind and whatever felt good. A person did what they said because your word was your bond.

This got me thinking about some conversations I had with my daughter over the years. I can’t tell you how many times we talked about this. Okay, maybe it wasn’t a conversation. Maybe it was more like a yelling match. I would go to her room to wake her up and she would scream “ NO! I don’t want to get up!” To which I would holler back at her, as I walk down the hall. “ I don’t really care what you want, this isn’t about you! Sometimes in this life you just have to do things you don’t want to do and getting up is one of those things” Or the conversation might go like this. “ Life isn’t about you Amy so do what you are supposed to do and get up”  I promise you if I said one of those phrases to her once I said it 10,000 times. I think our mornings started out like that at about age 5, and continued, almost until the day she moved out. But the funniest part of that story is, now when I hear her tell the children she is working with the same thing. It makes me think, “Well, maybe she did get it?”

I think there is another term that needs to be considered these days,  it is called “dying to yourself”, the Bible calls it “denying yourself”.  See the very essence of our relationship with God requires us to give up our will and follow what He wants us to do. We must deny ourselves if we are going to be a follower of God.  Jesus tells His disciples several times that they must deny themselves.  Matthew 16:24-25 “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever would save his life shall lose it: and whosoever shall lose his life for my sake shall find it.”

Christ tells us, that there are going to be times we have to do things we don’t want to do. When that friend calls needing help but you would rather sit at home or when we would rather stay at home instead of getting up and going to church on Sunday Mornings.  These things are important because they are things that we have to choose to do. We choose to go help that friend because it is an opportunity to be Christ’s hands and feet. We choose to get up out of that warm comfy bed because we know, if we go, we will learn more about our walk with God and possibly be able to encourage someone else with their walk as well. If there is no other reason we do it, we do it, because we know that God’s word says “Forsake not the assemblies of yourselves…….” Hebrews 10:25. So when we know what we ought to do then, we need to do it no matter how much we don’t feel like it. Because God’s word also says in James “ He that knows to do good and doesn’t do it, then to him it is sin” Yep! My kids heard that scripture a lot too. In fact, it might have been the one they learned before John 3:16

We are never more like Christ than when we choose to do something we don’t want to do, simply because we know it is right to do.

See there is no request that can be made to us, greater than the request that was made to Jesus when God, His Father, asked Him to give up His life in Heaven and go to earth to die for a bunch of sinners that would despise Him, and hate Him than spit on Him while He hung naked on a cross for them. So they could have eternal life.

So, until someone asks you to do that, you haven’t been asked to do too much. I don’t know about you, but I sure am glad Jesus didn’t ghost on us that day, He went to the cross. Because without Him sacrificing Himself for us we would not have the blessed hope of eternal life.

So next time, you get a better offer to do something, or you decide, you just “don’t want” to be in a relationship anymore and you are getting ready to bail on your commitments.  Maybe you need to think about the man who gave His life for you and if you claim to know Him then make sure you are representing Him well and make sure you aren’t Ghosting while you are on duty serving Him because serving Him is a 24/7/365  commitment. God has never ghosted on us, so should we really be doing it to others? What will you be today, a Ghost or Jesus?

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You call me Friend !

Amy & Chad

Amy & Chad

We have all done it: admired and looked up to a leader or person from afar; created pedestals for them, and somehow now believe they are better than us. We think we would never be able to speak to them or be their friend; that they are beyond the reach of what we could be. They are too pretty, too smart, too gifted, too anointed, too rich, or too skinny. They are far more than we think we could ever hope to be. They are the people who appear to have their stuff together and make those of us, who feel we don’t, even more conscious that we could be doing better. Not in a condemning kind of way, but a way that inspires us to do more, be more, do our best.
Then it happens. You get the e-mail or the phone call, and they call you, “friend!” I remember when this happened to me. There was a particular ministry leader who I could not imagine would ever have anything to do with me, I just wasn’t that good. Then one day I got an e-mail from her that said, “Hey Friend!” Friend? She called me, Friend?? What??? No way!!! I can’t be her friend, I am not that good. I could never be good enough to be her friend! After having a small meltdown and a little panic attack, it hit me why I was freaking out.
It was because I looked up to her relationship with Christ; I admired her spiritual leadership; and, as long as I looked on from afar, I wasn’t on her level. But as soon as I became her friend I was no longer looking up to her, but I was her peer! I would suddenly (at least in my mind) need to be on the same level as her spiritually!  Or, worse yet, is it possible she saw something in me that I had not seen in myself that she felt she wanted to be a part of? Could it be possible I could be a blessing to her?? I don’t know about you, but I am always amazed that God would choose to use me, that He sees something worthy enough in me to allow me to be a blessing to someone else, because I know I am just not that good and it is only in Him that I can do anything.
You know, in the Bible it says that Jesus calls us “friend.” (See John 15:15). In fact we were created because God wanted someone who could choose to be His friend. Not because we had to, but because we chose too.  The Bible says the very rocks will cry out and praise Him, if He commands them!  But God gave us a choice, a choice to choose to choose Him, and I don’t know about you but I am amazed that Jesus chose me to be His friend! (See James 2:23).
The unique thing about my perspective of not being good enough for my “friends,” is the truth is that there is someone out there who feels that way about you and me. They feel privileged and a little better about themselves when we reach out to them with a smile, or a quick lunch, a listening ear, or when we call them “friend!” The truth is, we all have influence on someone; and the question is, are we using it for the Lord?
There is a song that goes something like this: “I am a friend of God, I am a friend of God, I am a friend of God, He calls me friend! Who am I that You are mindful of me, that You hear me when I call . . . ”
I love this song because it reminds me how much God loves me and cares for me. And that makes me want to share this love with someone else. I don’t think I will ever (and I hope I will never ever) get over the amazement that God loves me and will use me, if I will just allow Him to do so. The question is, “Who does God want you to bless today with your time and attention?”  Sometimes all we need is someone to call us friend!