We love like we have been loved

We love like we have been loved

Recently,I got to sit around and reminisce with our oldest son about past Christmases he had with his Grandma Lewis. (my momma) He reminded me that she showed up one year in her car completely packed from front to back, top to bottom, with Christmas presents and only enough room for her to sit in the driver’s seat with her little head of her barely 5 ft frame peeping over the steering wheel. This was the perfect example of a Christmas with my mom or any holiday truthfully,  and for no reason that I can comprehend, Lee accused his father and I of being worst with his kids. Just because we always bring his kids something when we come to visit or send presents on holidays when we can’t be there. As I explained to my daughter-in-love. We love those kids like we have been loved. It can be as something as silly as a bag of apples and oranges that Jeff will bring in a box and act as if it is something super special, lining the children all up and telling them to close their eyes because he has a prize for them. To the better gifts that the grandchildren say I know how to pick out. We all laugh and have a good time, just making them feel special.

 

I guess you could say gift giving was my family’s love language. I can’t even image only giving one gift a piece to my grand kids at Christmas. Now mind you, we don’t necessarily give big expensive gifts and I have even been know to buy good used toys for my grands and give them. I can remember my mom wrapping a 6 pack of sock by taking each pair out and wrapping it individually, just so it looked there were like a lot of gifts under the tree. My mom who lived on less than $700 a month in her retirement years, found so much joy in giving that she would find ways to make sure all 3 of us (at the time) would have tons of gifts under the tree. Not that buying presents is the only way to show love, but it is and outward sign of an inward feeling for my family. My parents who raised me, showed me such unconditional love when they took me in as a newborn and raised me as I was their own. I know without a doubt they would of given their lives for me.

 

I was talking this past week to a friend who had, a negative experience in love. She was previously in an abusive relationship and now that she has found new love she was scared to take the next step. She told me,” If you have never felt a love like that than it is hard to realize you can be loved in that way.”

 

That really got me thinking, in this world where New York just approved to legalize abortion up to the day of birth, made me ask “What are people so scared of? As parents, our jobs are not easy it can be a scary thing raising a child and being solely responsible for it.  Especially if you have never really been loved. We live in a society where the traditional roles have been shattered and whether you agree with it or not you have to say that it has only made people more confused about their place in relationships are. Perhaps that is why marriage seems to becoming more and more extinct. People are afraid to commit to marriage and we have to ask the question why? Are they afraid to love because they have never really been loved?

 

Marriage is a covenant between two people before God committing their love to one another forever and the wise ones who make that covenant know it can’t be done without God’s help. Many who make that covenant these days know they need to love like the way they have been loved. With an unconditional love that the father above has given them. It is only when we accept that love and trust in the Heavenly Father that we can really love like we are suppose to love. Jeff Miller knows me, He knows every part about me, the good, the bad and they ugly,  and he still loves me. So when I get upset with Jeff, I have to remember how much he has put up with from me.

 

If we will all just be honest with ourselves, none of us are perfect but yet we have the God who created the universe who wants to be part of our life. Yet, we can’t grasp that kind of love. We can’t grasp the idea of God not expecting perfection but, He is simply looking for surrender. As a child it wasn’t uncommon that under the Christmas tree each year it would be full of gifts. Jeff and I did the same with our children and now with our grands. We simply are showing the love that we received. I hope today, you realize there is a man who hung on a tree and gave His life for you. Because He loves you. How about today we love Him with unconditional love too. How about we surrender our life to Him and share the amazing love He has given us with others.

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A Way that Seems Right!

A Way that Seems Right!

When I was a little girl one of the my favorite things to do was play with my Barbie Dolls. In fact, I remember having the whole basement set up as my very own Barbie town. Being raised as an only child, my parents pretty much allocated the whole basement for me to play in.

 

One corner was a semi finished room that I had chairs facing a desk with a chalkboard hanging on the wall behind the desk. That was my school room. I went in there and pretended to be a teacher with my imaginary class full of students.

 

But my favorite thing to do was play in my Barbie town. It included a Barbie townhouse, Barbie boat house, along with a Barbie pool and that isn’t even counting the end tables and coffee tables I turned into houses for my dolls..   

 

Along with store bought furniture in my barbies home, the majority of furniture was homemade by my mom out of egg cartons, cotton stuffing and material.  Just about anything we could think of we would use for their house, the lid off a hairspray can became an end table or footstool. We were always creating something for my barbies homes.  I had several barbie families that lived in the little town I created.

 

But even at the young age I was, there was one thing that was certain, my Barbie and Ken dolls never lived together until they were married,  and to be married, my dad being the minister that he was, had to perform the ceremony. Because I was taught at a young age, that living together before you are married goes against what God word says. So I even made my daddy married our full blooded dachshund dog before I would let him breed with another dog. I took it that seriously. But at eight years old what do you expect!

 

All this got me thinking? Will my grands and their children have the same morals and values? In the society we live into today, where it is almost common place to live together before you are married I am worried they will not take what God’s word says seriously. Oh! I don’t mean that they need to have their dogs and dolls married. But by my parents instilling in me at such a young age of right from wrong. It was my choice to blanket that decision in every area of my life.

 

What worries me, is just how much instilling of right from wrong is the next generation getting in this country? My parents sat down with me at taught me God’s word. They didn’t condemn others when they made mistakes but used it as a learning opportunity for me to teach me what God’s word said and realizing that word was the ultimate authority in our life choices.

 

Proverbs 14:12  says “There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death”  We seem to think that God wants to just keep us from having fun or doing what we want. But the bottom line is that God wants to keep us from hurt and pain.

 

We justify our idea of living together before we are married because we say that, it is a better way. We use it as an insurance policy to assure we won’t get divorced later. Which is an understandable concern in this country where there is a 50 percent divorce rate. That theory might have some relevance if the statics agreed,  but the truth is statistics say:

 

Those who DID NOT live together before marriage

83% were still together after 10 yrs and 68% were still together after 20yrs.

Those who DID live together before marriage:

Only 71% were still together after 10yrs and 51% were still together after 20yrs.

So you have a 17% less chance of staying together after 20 yrs if you live together first compared to someone that doesn’t.

 

Only 1 in 5 couples who live together make it past 7yrs. And now they have a lifetime of memories with someone else.

 

So I have to wonder why would people do it? Are we so blinded to the facts or is it just that we refuse to die to our own wills and desires until the appropriate time? I had a conversation with a young man not to long ago who asked me to tell him where God says in His word that premarital sex is wrong. To which I informed him the word fornication is premarital sex in the bible and yet this man refused to accept it because he wanted to see the actual word “premarital” in the bible?

 

How can any of us even begin to live a life, let alone for Christ if we have to have everything our own way. I mean in this life there are things as adults and even children that we have to do, when we don’t want to, and it seemed this young man wanted it his way or he refused to believe.  

 

I don’t believe our country has a sex traffic issue, gun issue, a bullying issue, a racist issue, or crime issues, our country has a heart issue.

 

Matthew 15:19 says “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.

 

See even as a little girl I was taught early on that I couldn’t get everything I wanted, I was taught  I had to wait for even the little things. Oh! I may of had a Barbie town, but this girl got only 2 pairs of dress shoes a year as a little girl. A white pair for summer and a black pair for winter.  It created in me a discipled to wait, even the creating our own doll furniture taught me to deny myself.

 

In the society today I don’t see a whole lot of anyone giving up their wills to what God’s word says is right. Most live by the statement  “If it feels good do it!”

 

But remember what Proverbs 14:12  says “There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death”  

God is warning us here, not to rely on ourselves but listen to Him, learn His word, hide it in our hearts that we might not sin against it. Attend a church where you can be taught to understand it. See, God is the only one that has already seen what is ahead for us and He so desperately wants to guide us from harm. He gives us a choice so the question is what will you choose today? The way that leads to death? (Oh! It may not be a physical death but it is the death of many hopes and dreams) Or will you choose God’s way? Because trust me, the choice is yours and it is never too late to turn around and start over again.