Alesa & Her Mom Doris Lewis

As a child my mother had a severe limp, she had polio when she was 12 and it cause one foot to be shorter than the other, thus causing her to limp. It also caused her to favor one of her feet when going up or down stairs. She would always take her right foot to the first step then bring the left foot to the same step, then pause, before proceeding on to the next step with her right foot where she would then start the process all over again. Funny thing is, as children we learn how to walk up/down steps by watching the person leading us and it wasn’t until I was probably 10 yrs old or so that I realize I walked up and down steps the same way my mother did. Like a handicap person.  Although it was no problem for me to take one step at a time right, left, right, left, step after step. I simply didn’t do it till I realized I was walking like the person leading me so many years ago. To this day I catch myself walking like I have a handicap it is at that time,  I have to focus to actually walk correctly up and down steps.

This got me thinking, isn’t that like our life. We followed those who taught us and those we looked up to as kids in our choices, idea’s and convictions. Our role models led and directed us to the future choices we made. It is the same thing for us as adults. We are role models and leaders to the youth around us. I think it impedes us to assure that we do not lead the generation that is following us in the wrong direction. We do not teach them our handicap way of life. We all made mistakes and that alone requires us to assure we are leading the next generation to a higher standard. It requires us to be aware of every move we make, because our children are watching every step we take and they are following in our footsteps. How are you walking today?

Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out. Eph, 6:13-18

The other day on our city’s Facebook page they posted that a certain part of our city’s water would be turned off for a while due to repairs. An amazing friend of mine responded and said ” They turned our water off the other day but it was because we forgot to pay the bill”  I was mortified and amazed at my friend, all at the same time. I personally would have NEVER posted such a thing on Facebook and truthfully it is because I have to much pride in that area of my life.

(Not to say we haven’t forgotten to pay the bill, I am just not brave enough to post it)

As I begin to think about what I considered her bravery, the Lord begin to reveal to me issues in my own life. Yes, there is way too much pride in my life. But, I just began to have a great respect for this friend because of how comfortable she is in her own skin. She is who she is and nothing more! I admire that about her. I love real people like that, don’t you??? I try to be real, I have even professed I am “just a real person”  but the truth is there is so much more I have to learn to let go of. Perhaps my reservations come from an extensive amount of rejection I have had in my life through family, church, denominational rules etc. Then as I do with everything I wondered how that is affecting my kids??? What have I inadvertently passed down to my children now looking back, that can hurt them later on in life. Is it my perfectionism?? Is it my fears??? My insecurities???  the list goes on……

But as moms haven’t we all done that??? Don’t we all worry about everything that has to do with our children. Oh!! For some of us it is a minor concern and for others it may consume us.  God has given us a huge responsibility in raising our children. But we must remember we are not alone in this journey whether you’re a single mom just trying to make ends meet, or a mom working while dad stays home or the mom who is with her kids 24/7 while dad works 24/7 just to make it. God has not left us alone. In His word before He ascended to heaven He promised He would send us a Comforter, one that would be there for us. He also says “Do not fear for the Lord your God is with you”. He also reminds us that God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind!

We cannot be overwhelmed by the things of this world. Because we are not of this world. This world would have us think we have to look like this, have this car, build this size house or else we are not good enough. Your group of moms you hang out with may sometimes make you feel that if your kid isn’t at the same standard as their kid is, you’re not a good enough mom. Everywhere we turn there is someone or something saying, implying or making us feel we have to be better.

I encourage you to shake off that feeling, don’t even allow those thoughts to come into your mind. That is what impresses me about my friend; she knows who she is in life and she knows who she isn’t, most of all she knows she is a child of God and I believe she would probably say, the rest is just gravy. Because when we know who we are in Christ and because we know that He loves us with a everlasting love. I mean, It is not just knowing like I know who the president of the U.S is. It is a knowing, a true realization that takes place in our hearts. Where we not only know, but we trust in, and rely on Him, like you would a good friend that watches over us and protects us. When we realize that He promises, He will not leave us, that nothing can separate us from His love. Then we can shut out the rest of the world, if it is only for a little while, while we gather our thoughts together and focus on the REAL purpose of life. I am reminded of an old song we used to sing in church but the words are so true today. ” Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.”  Let’s remember this week that we are children of God and we are not what we were before we knew him. We have been renamed, reclaimed by Him. We do not have to be overcome by the standards and ideas of this world. God has a different path for each and everyone of us. When we realize the unfailing and unconditional love of our Savior it is then that we can be free of the standards that this world has set before us.

There is not a mom out there that would say she has 2 children just alike. All 3 of my kids have different learning styles, desires, gifts, talents, and quirks. They are not the same kid!!  I have a funny one, a giver and a studious child.  They have commonalities but they are completely different kids. Which is really frustrating when it comes to buying curriculum!! They don’t even learn like me!!!  I believe God looks down on us like that and just the way I admire and appreciate each one of my children for their differences I believe He looks at us like that to. He realizes that He gave each of us talents and giftings that others may not have and He appreciates us for it. In fact He designed it that way.

For a long time I fought a gift that God had given me. I have a gift that for many years I have tried to suppress. It was only recently that I said forget everything else and I am going to step into that gift and with boldness and confidence I stepped out. Because of that choice it has been life changing for our family. But I have never felt more in God’s will than I do right now. If I had listened to all the naysayers in my head. I would not be doing what I am doing today. But because (like my friend) I was just real, it has changed my family’s life.

I encourage you to be who God has called you to be today, nothing more, nothing less. Don’t worry about what others will say but step into that gift that God has given you. And most of all learn to accept your kids for who they are, nothing more, nothing less. We all have strengths and weakness. Let’s praise the strengths and encourage the weak!

We are who we are nothing more, nothing less, perfect in His image….. Children of God and He loves us!!

Originally written for  The Old Schoolhouse Magazine on Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Our family has never been one to take trips to the beach or go to Europe over spring break like some people I know do. Nor do we take grand vacations to the mountains to ski in the winter or to Mexico in the summer. In fact I down-right hate to travel. My parents did it with me a lot as a child and I just don’t have very many fond memories of it, but I know some people that LIVE for vacations. I have often wondered, has that left my kids out of something?  Are they missing something because I can’t provide all that? We “might” take a trip back South, where my husband is from, one time a year and if we do we try to make it as educational as possible but I still wonder, have I been a bad mother for not being able to provide all those things?

I think I have slowly gotten my answer as my kids have grown up. Now 25, 15 and 13, I often hear the two left at home say, ” What???” in a high pitched, urgency filled voice as if we have just been invaded by aliens, “We can’t go anywhere on Friday night, we will miss hamburger night!!!” Typically, we make homemade hamburgers and French-fries every Friday night, and then we watch a movie we have either picked up at the Library, Red box, or Netflix. I have learned, over time, my kids LOVE our family night and it actually has to be rescheduled if we have something that comes up on a Friday that can’t be avoided.

Another thing that made me think was during our local spring break when our daughter house-sat for friends of ours. As an added treat she wanted to make them dinner so they would have something to eat when they came home. When she looked in their refrigerator, she called me, excited, to say she had found the supplies to make enchiladas. So she did, but she called me in the middle of it and said, disappointingly, “Making enchiladas is not as much fun by myself as it is at home”. You see, at home it is a major event at our house. There are several steps to my recipe and all of our family comes into the kitchen and takes part in the event! Everyone has a job and we enjoying working together doing it. But it was obvious Amy realized it was not the same by herself, and most of what she liked was the interaction our family has during the process.

And then, there was the trip to the coast. I know I told you I had an aversion to travel. But this was important! When Katrina hit, that was a bit too close to home to ignore (remember I told you my husband’s family is from that area). So in a matter of hours, with just a few e-mails sent out, we had a borrowed van and trailer, had donations of thousands of pounds of food/supplies and hundreds of dollars for the trip and we were off to deliver supplies from just the people in our community who were willing to reach out. My kids still talk about that trip and the displaced family we met in a hotel coming back home who needed diapers and food that we were able to assist with.

Still to this day, when we travel to the next town over, my kids reminisce about the days when they were younger and each Friday was our day out. Grocery Shopping (our town doesn’t have a grocery store), errands, and oh YES! the Library Story Time. These are all memories they still treasure. Yes, even the part where I banned them for saying the words on that day, ” Can I have….”,  or ” I want….” (a mom can only take so much begging).

Then there was the hail storm, when, in the middle of replacing the roof, I got the bright idea of removing all the ugly siding off our house and restoring the original wood underneath. (Well we had the dumpster here anyway, we might as well, right? ) It didn’t matter if our youngest was only six years old at the time; he was short, he could pull out the nails on the lower half of the house! We worked by height: what job you did depended on how tall you were. No one told me we would have to go around the perimeter of our house six times, performing six different steps to restore our house back to its original form! But it was worth it and a proud moment for all of us when it was over, realizing that as a part of this “team” we had accomplished a lot.

I still find it funny when my kids go to another child’s home and realize all the differences they find in other families. On many occasions it has made them thankful for what they have here. It is like music to a Momma’s ears when she hears the teenagers in her life say, “I know I have it good here” or “I know my parents are the best”.

Maybe you as a parent feel as if you were raised in a dysfunctional home and you have a fear of raising your kids in the same manner.  As Patty Clairmore says, “Normal is just a setting on your dryer”. I believe if we love our kids and follow the biblical example of how God says we should treat each other (you know those rules apply inside the house not just around non-family members), when our kids are taught to look outside themselves and serve others, there is a spirit of unity and love that transcends all obstacles in a families relationships.

I love what I heard on a recent episode of Parenthood. The oldest brother was so angry at his younger sibling, he was refusing to have anything to do with him (and for a good cause), when his sister says ” I know you’re angry and you have every reason to be, but because he is your brother you don’t get that luxury.”  I thought those were powerful words that spoke of a sense of unity.

Yes, my kids may not have all the luxuries of the Trumps, or even take the vacations like the neighbors down the street. But we have each other and in that we have learned the concept of team spirit, Godly attitudes, unity, and what I believe a real family is all about. And I think that just proves, “the little things really do count!”

 The 3 Little Pigs

       Once upon a time there were 3 little pigs. The first little pig’s name was Lee and he built his house out of bricks. The second little pig’s name was Amy and she built her house out of sticks. Then the third little pig’s name was Chad and he built his house out of straw……

 This is the story my husband told our children as they were growing up. As you can see he embellished it some. He also added to the ending ….. and when the big bad wolf came to blow down Amy’s house, her daddy drove up in his big red Cadillac, pulled out his shotgun and shot the big bad wolf. (don’t know why he said a red Cadillac, we’ve never owned one)

Jeff’s ending to the story was always one, that he would come and save the day for his children. This was a wonderful concept for our kids to understand that Daddy was their protector. One day we were at the dentist’s office with our daughter Amy,  must of been about 4 then and being the only little girl in our family has always felt the security of being protected and loved, not only by her daddy but by her brothers as well, and this day was no different. It appears that the dentist began a procedure that Amy didn’t particularly approve of. I am told that she sat up and looked the dentist square in the eyes and said “If you don’t stop that, my daddy is going to come in his big red Cadillac and pull out his shotgun and shoot you!” At that point the dentist informed me we might should find another dentist to go to, as he ushered us out the door while handing us names of other dentists to try.

 That kinda put an ending to Daddy’s story telling (at least with that story). What we thought was a positive appeared to backfire on us a little that day and gave us a bit of mixed emotions. I have never been upset with her for doing that, in fact it made me kinda proud. Proud that she had the boldness to stand up for what she believed. But a little embarrassed that she showed her fear through threats to the dentist versus explaining her feelings.

 I am still amazed at Amy’s boldness now at almost 16 yrs old. She has not changed! Some people would be upset. But I have always looked at her determination as a positive, knowing as long as she is focused in the right direction with her determination the devil had better watch out!

 Does that make more work for her parents? You bet! But we know we are raising warriors for Christ.

I wonder though, how many of us have the kind of boldness as she did, as a 4 yr old child?  When we are faced with challenges and opposition that come our way today, do we have the boldness to go before God and tell him our needs? Do we have the faith to stand when all that is around us is falling down?

 The Bible says in Matt 19:14 KJV “But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven”.

 Mark 10:15 KJV “Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein.”

 Amy was bold and didn’t doubt for a minute that her daddy would come to her rescue when she was in need. If she can be that confident with her earthly father, can’t we be as confident in our heavenly father? Can we come to our father with the faith of a child and trust him?

There is nothing more scary at times then the thought of “Are we doing the right thing by teaching our kids at home?” ” Am I really qualified to do this?” Give the devil a chance and he will bring every reason in the book to your mind of why you should not be homeschooling your kids, and if he misses any, you can be sure your in-laws or some “friend” will be sure and point it out to you.

 I challenge you to be confident in your choice. When God spoke to me some 18 yrs ago to homeschool, it was NOT my plan at all and it was nothing I had ever dreamed of. This mom who didn’t even know her multiplication tables herself was supposed to do WHAT???  But I have stood strong even in the hardest of times and trusted my heavenly father for what He promised me He could do through me. Today, as you can see, our children have followed that example and are boldly standing on their beliefs. (and I learned my multiplication tables)

 What kind of faith are you standing on today? Is it the faith of a child? What do you need from God? Whatever it is, know that God your heavenly father is there for you and although the answer for you may not be for him to ride up in a a big red Cadillac and shoot the big bad wolf (or dentist), trust me, He does have the answer and let’s stand on that today. As strongly as Amy stood in front of a grown adult and confessed her faith in her daddy, stand today and confess your faith in your Heavenly Father in whatever need you may have.

Now let’s Pray:

Dear Lord,

We come before you to confess our faith in you today, you alone are worthy of our praise!

We know that your word says that you know how many hairs are on our head, you know when every sparrow falls and you chose us for such a time as this! God, we bring all of our hopes and dreams to you, we come boldly before you and lay at your feet our lives. We trust you to do with it what you will and we will hold your hand through it all. Help us today. Lord ,to be who you would have us to be. To show our children who you really are and let us be the light into a darkened world you have called us to. And in all of it, let us stand with the faith of a child.

Your your name we pray

Amen

Very eventful morning so far… Made it through the dentist appointment without Amy threatening the Dentist “That if he didn’t stop she was gonna call her daddy and he was gonna come in his big red Cadillac with his shotgun and shoot him” (Just FYI don’t change the story of the 3 little pigs to your kids names and have you come in your big red Cadillac to rescue them) That visit (when she was 5) got us sent promptly to a new dentist. 🙂 Now that we are home Chad has proceeded on to the cremation of Annie the Anole… She was loved by many, Cherished by all and eaten by none. (referring to the Blizzard report a few weeks ago) Have a great day!

Recently, I called a friend of mine and said, “Will you go by such-and-such address and pick up a vacuum cleaner for me?  It will be sitting by the curb.”  Without hesitation or question, her response was, “Sure!”  We continued our conversation about other things in our lives and then, before we hung up, she said, “I trust you and everything, but tell me again, why am I picking up this vacuum cleaner?”

At that point I explained to her that I belong to a free recycling group online and someone was giving it away.  (She lives in a small town about 15 miles from me, and the vacuum cleaner was in her town.)

As I pondered our conversation later, I thought, “You know, that is the way I feel about God sometimes.  I often think, but maybe never say it, ‘God, I trust you and all, but, tell me again:  Why I am doing this?’”

God never promised us as Christians we would not have any struggles.  Sometimes we are tempted to doubt and give up.  As home-schooling parents, there are days when it is just not easy and we may even question “Why are we doing this again?”  But Gods word promises that if we are faithful with little He will give us much.  When we stand in faith through the trials God gives us, He will give us so much more influence on those around us.  There is never anything we go through but what, if we will only allow God to use what we go through, he will open up the doors for us to help others from what we have learned through our challenges.

Some days, life can just be overwhelming and we would rather stay in the bed and pull the covers over our head.  But we know if we do, our children will not get the education they need, let alone the nourishment and guidance they need for the day.  (Besides, they might burn down the house if we stay there!)  It is on those days that if we will just pick ourselves up and do what we are called to do, it may very well be the most successful day we have had in a long time.

You have to admit, there is nothing better than when you work with your kids for an extended period of time to learn their multiplication tables, spelling words etc. and they succeed!  What an awesome feeling of success!  Not only for them, but for us!  Or, maybe it is just them showing their giving, loving heart and kindness to others.  Whatever the success, we have had a part in it.

Perhaps your child has special challenges – perhaps in some areas they may not ever be able to learn and you ask yourself, “Why are we doing this again?”  Don’t ever forget, these children we have are God’s greatest blessings we have ever been given and God has called you to be their greatest influence.

Don’t give up!  Continue to be faithful!  Remember, when we are faithful with what we are given, God will give us great influence on those around us.  There is nothing that comes to you that doesn’t pass by God first.

Our family has a personal struggle going on in our lives right now, and as I shared it with a friend of mine the other day, she responded, “Well, we will pray for Gods will.”  I told her flat out, “Honestly, I don’t want God’s will right now!  I want my will and my will is that my child be perfect and succeed at whatever he puts his hands to do.”  It was an honest answer, but reality is, if I trust God, I have to be faithful in my trust to him in this trial, even though I don’t see why our circumstances have to be this way.  But I trust God enough to know, that as I hold onto his hand, I will see His will and purpose in this situation and I will be greatly influential for Him because of it.

Your greatest influence sits at your feet today.  They believe you are the most amazing person they know (even if they never tell you).  God has called you to be an influence on all you come in contact with …..  and that is why you’re doing this!